Closed doors
by MissJimmyChoo
Summary: Nobody knows what happens when no one else is around. They can't see the hopeless looks of despair. They can't see that their marriage is over. It was over a long time ago.
1. Prologue: Don't want love to destroy me

**Sorry that this chapter's so short. It's just a prologue. But I promise the next few chapter's will be longer. I have no idea how many chapter's there'll be but... Whatever. We'll go with the flow won't we y'all? By the way I don't own OTH much to my disappointment. I went to an auction and tried bidding for it but I didn't get it. When I'm a billionaire I'll buy it, though, and make sure that Peyton suddenly disappears so Lucas would end up with Brooke. The song lyrics at the start are from Pink's Family Portrait. **

**So on with the show... Scene 1, act 1. And ACTION**

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><p><em>In our family portrait we look pretty happy<br>We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
>In our family portrait we look pretty happy<br>Let's play pretend, act like it comes naturally_

You never know what it's really like when you're looking in from the outside. All you can see is large smiles and roaring laughter. You never know what it's really like. Not really.

The family photo hung over the fireplace in a shiny golden frame. There was a man, a woman and a little girl, each with blond hair and blue eyes. They looked perfect. The man had his arm around the woman's shoulder and the woman had her hand on the girl's shoulder and you could tell she was squeezing it gently as if to say 'smile at the camera, honey'. They each had smiles that spread across their faces. And it wasn't just in the photo they all showed this smile to the world. They'd reveal it at parties and at the little girl's parent's evenings. No one would think that this smile wasn't their real one.

It was their show smile. Not that anyone knew that. It was a smile that a good actor might put on after experiencing a great loss but managed to cover it up just before going onto the stage. Because the world was the couple's stage. Even though behind closed doors they were so sad, the moment those doors opened they'd paint on their smiles and pretend to be okay. They were good at that now. They'd had practice.

No one knew that they didn't love each other anymore. They didn't know that the woman would stare out of the window each night for at least an hour hoping her own prince charming would drive down the road and whisk her away from this life. Nobody knew that she longed for a boy she'd lost years ago. They didn't see the desperate look in her eye although her mouth was smiling. They didn't know that whenever she saw her daughter she'd always hope that the girl was _his. _People didn't see that she'd search a street in desire of seeing the man she loved. She hated how selfish and hopeless she'd become.

They didn't see the man scan the parties for the brunette girl and when his eyes would land on her they didn't notice the true smile spread across his face which would quickly disappear and turn into the show smile once again. They didn't know that the man would look through a box of letters at least twice a week. They didn't know how hard his hear pumped whenever she spoke to him. They didn't understand the pain he felt when she'd leave her spot talking to him to go and find her _fiancé. _They didn't know that his heart would break a little then at the fact she wasn't in love with him anymore.

Nobody knew that the little girl would always wonder why her parents didn't love each other like the other children's parents at school. She'd always died a little at the other parents smiling in a real way at each other while her parents were gritting their teeth in the resemblance of a smile. She'd occasionally glimpsed her mum sitting in the window seat of her parent's room drawing a man that she'd never met but had been hanging over the household for as long as she could remember. She'd never told anybody about the fact she'd seen her mum's drawing of the man or the fact that she'd stumbled across a letter to the woman she'd called aunt from her father telling her he loved him. She knew that the letter would never be received. She knew that it was too late for her father and the girl he loved. It was too late for her mother and the boy she loved. It was too late. Too late.

Yes, you can never know what's behind the fake smiles in the family photo. You can never know truly what's going on in a household that seems so perfect.


	2. Chapter 1: Oh this time, without you

**Hey my name is Mark Schwahn and I made One Tree Hill. I'm stupid and made Peyton end up with Lucas when Brucas was so much better. I'm writing fanfics because I'm just so bored with the new season of One Tree Hill that I decided, hey, I actually made a huge mistake with they Lucas/Peyton/Brooke storyline that I thought I'd make up for it with this. **

**No. I do not own One Tree Hill. Do you seriously think I'd make Leyton happen when Brucas is just so fetch? No. Just no.**

**So yeah, I used to love Mark in the first few seasons but now I'm just like, 'seen that' (been there, done that). Things are so predictable. Ahh it's getting boring now. I might give up watching it. Actually I won't. But whatever...**

**The song lyrics are Guns N' Roses' Estranged.**

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><p><em>Old at heart but I'm only 28<em>  
><em>And I'm much too young<em>  
><em>To let love break my heart<em>  
><em>Young at heart but it's getting much too late<em>  
><em>To find ourselves so far apart<em>

Peyton was curled up on the window seat with a checkered blanket pulled tightly around her. She was staring out of the window at the cold, grey fall afternoon. The trees were swaying in the harsh winds and the picture outside the window pretty much fitted her mood. The sky was filled with dark clouds and the trees were bare of any leaves. Peyton sighed deeply and brought a hand out of the comfort of the blanket to run a hand through her messy, unbrushed hair. She was still in the pair of old, plaid pyjama bottoms and the faded red tank top that she'd worn in bed. She had a thick woolen sweater on over the top that she'd only wear on cold nights because the wool was unravelling and it was so old that it should of been thrown away years ago but she'd never quite managed to bring herself to. Her gaze was fixed on the road that you could only just see over the tops of the tall trees. She was searching for him again. Like she always did nowadays.

Sawyer sighed heavily and turned away from her mother, glancing behind her at the hallway from her spot leaning against the door frame of her parent's room (except only her mother slept in it now, she knew that her father snuck downstairs to the couch when he thought she was asleep.) She couldn't watch anymore. The look on her mother's face was of so much loss and despair that she almost started to cry. She knew that her mother's pain had engulfed her long ago and that there wasn't many ways to pull her mother out of her depression. She hated that she couldn't do anything to help her. It was heart breaking that someone could be so broken from a love one let go at such a young age. Her parent's were too young to be so broken. They'd both faced more heart ache than most experience in a life time.

The little girl started to make her way towards her own room when she was stopped at the sight of her father sitting in the cupboard where they kept her old toys and things they didn't use anymore. He was cross legged with a box of letters in his hands, tears sitting in the bottom of his eyes and Sawyer was surprised that he had any tears left because he seemed to do it so often now. She'd seen the box before, of course. She'd never seen the contents other than the few that she could see from this angle, she could just make out the tops of envelopes but she didn't have any idea what the letters contained.

It was always like this nowadays.

It had been like this for as long as she could remember, ever since she was a very small child she'd known that her parent's were unhappy. They'd never wanted to take her out anywhere. They both told her they were busy. They weren't. She knew it wasn't because they didn't love her, she could tell it was just that their sadness outweighed their love for her and they couldn't see through the thick fog of despair. A dark thunder cloud had constantly hung over the house and her parents, it eventually started to seep into her as well. She'd sit alone in the play ground and watch the other children playing happily and wondered how they could be happy when she'd experienced the sadness of the world at such a young age.

Her life was surrounded by other's unhappiness and she'd come to understand that nothing could make them happy. She knew that things would always be like this and she'd come to accept this. Her life was one of films, where the little girl didn't have a life because of her parent's depression. But unlike in the films, she still loved her parents as she knew it wasn't their fault. It was simply how life worked. Life was unfair, even at just the age of 7 years old she knew that. Sawyer Scott was a very unhappy child with very unhappy parents. But nobody knew about it. When teacher's commented to her parents that she seemed unhappy they'd simply say she was shy and that was the reason for her drawback. At parties when they asked the couple if they were happy they'd paint on smiles and gush 'oh, we are. Never been any happier'.

Lies.

It was all a lie nowadays.

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><p>Everybody was going round to Naley's for a meal, which they often did if they didn't feel like going out anywhere and that happened quite a bit now that they were getting older. Haley had been cooking all day, or at least that's what she told Lucas on the phone but he didn't know whether she was exadgerating. After Sawyer had a tantrum because she didn't want to put her shoes on as she was in the middle of watching her Pokemon DVD and Peyton's numerous trips upstairs to fetch god knows what they finally managed to leave the house. A silent car journey followed, where Peyton had to turn up the radio to compensate for the quiet and make it less obvious although they all knew it was only because Lucas and Peyton didn't have anything to say to each other anymore. They pulled up outside Naley's house and Sawyer was the first out, running to the doorbell because she always demanded that she ring it first. Nathan answered and she ran right past to join Jamie upstairs. The blond couple lagged behind and reached the door a few moments after the little girl and Nathan smiled and invited them inside.<p>

"So, brother, how's things with the new book?" He asked as Peyton moved past to hug Haley who was leaning against the kitchen counter's rubbing her buldging stomach and drinking a glass of water.

"Oh... It's going alright," Lucas nodded although it was a lie, he hadn't been able to think of anything and he'd only ever managed to write a paragraph which was rubbish and Sawyer could probably have written better. He hated to be asked about his book because he had total writer's block, the question had been rising ever since Sawyer's birth as it had been years since his last book and since he was married and had a kid everyone thought ideas would stream to him. Unluckily they didn't.

Nathan nodded and patted his shoulder, understanding completely, "That well, huh?"

"Unfortunatly so," The writer sighed and shrugged his shoulders before going over to greet his lifelong friend, Haley, who had managed to pull away from Peyton for a second.

Brooke was fifteen minutes late, like usual. She'd always joke that her and Julian had a quick round in bed before they came but they all knew it was because she'd been drawing out new clothes designs or calling up factories to ask for the next order. Brooke worked over time a lot, even working on weekends. The doorbell rung while he was talking to Haley about how fast Jamie was growing up. She followed Nathan into the kitchen, a smile on her face even though she looked tired with the dark circles underneath her eyes obvious. Julian was holding onto her hand and said his hello's to everyone. Even though they all liked Julian, they didn't count him as a close friend. They'd all known eachother since highschool and Julian didn't have that background with them. They all knew he felt like an outcast even though Brooke forced them to invite him along.

Haley and Peyton rushed forward to greet their best friend, engulfing her in a bone crushing hug. Brooke laughed and told them not to squeeze her so tight because they might squash her, which was true. Along with the lack of sleep she'd also taken to eating less, and had noticeably lost a lot of weight. Her body was a lot more frail and whenever they commented on it she'd brush it off and tell them 'if you think I'm thin you should see the other girl's in the business.' None of them knew the extent of her weight loss because she'd taken to wearing baggier tops over jeans, which although did look nice it was obvious she was hiding. Tonight she had on a large shirt over leggings and they all could see her tiny stick legs. They'd mentioned it to Julian and he'd nodded and told them that she snaps at him when he talks to her about it and that her knew he wasn't getting through to her. None of them knew how to help Brooke because she'd always been an independant person and didn't really like a lot of help.

"So Tutor Mom, what's on the menu tonight?" Brooke asked as she tilted her head so it rested on Julian's shoulder. They were all sitting in Naley's living room on the couches. Peyton and Lucas on the smaller of the couches and unlike the other two couples, they weren't touching each other at all. Julian had his arm around Brooke's shoulders and her head was on his shoulder. Nathan and Haley had their fingers intwined and there wasn't even a centimeter between them.

"Well I wanted to make a risotto but Nathan wouldn't let me. He demanded I made lasagna, so we're stuck with that I'm afraid," Haley laughed and looked up at her husband who was shrugging and giving a 'what the hell? I like lasagna' look.

"Lasagna's okay," Peyton smiled a little although it didn't quite reach her eyes. None of her smiles ever did lately, "We like lasagna."

"Yeah... As long as it's edible I'll be alright," Julian told them with a chuckle and they all laughed a bit.

Brooke rolled her eyes at her soon to be husband and nudged him with her elbow lightly, "They always said that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach."

"Is that how you got him to marry you? You made him a chocolate cake and he was yours?" Nathan grinned and shook his head as he gave her an amused look.

"Can't have been that... Brooke's not a good cook. She's burnt a microwave meal before," Lucas turned to his former girlfriend who was mock glaring at him and he couldn't help but laugh.

"You weren't supposed to tell anyone. That was between you and me," She hissed at him while she tried to keep her face serious but failed and started to laugh. Lucas laughed alone with her as he remembered the time back in high school when she'd gone around to his house to force him to watch stupid chick flick's and she'd burnt the microwave meal he'd told her to heat up. He couldn't help but wish it was back then when they were still dating. Before he and Peyton got married. Before Julian. He thought no one noticed the sad look in his eye despite his laughter. Peyton did though and she sighed quietly, not knowing whether it's worse to be in love with someone you see every day and know you can't have them or whether it's worse to love someone you'll never see again. At least Lucas got to see his one true love, even if it caused knives to pierce his heart.

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><p>The meal passed and they all tried not to notice the fact that Brooke had only served herself a tiny helping and ended up only eating half of it. They tried not to notice the fact that she seemed to force herself to even eat the small amount she had. They tried not to notice that she looked disgusted at herself for eating as much as she had. They tried to ignore these things but none of them come pretend they hadn't seen the heart broken look in Julian's eye as he watched her. They couldn't pretend not to have heard him whisper 'Brooke you said you were through with it all. You promised. You told me you'd eat normally' half way through the meal.<p>

No one saw that Lucas looked even more heart broken than Julian as he saw what had happened to his pretty girl.

It was time to go soon enough and after Sawyer spent half an hour begging for a couple more hours, Lucas finally got to the front door with his wife and child in tow to bid farewell. Brooke and Julian were still in the kitchen with Nathan making their way through a bottle of wine. Their laughter was trickling through to their place at the front door and Lucas noted that her laughter still made his heart beat quicken. The cold night's air was making its way through the open door and Sawyer was shivering as Peyton hugged her trying to warm her up. The darkness outside not exactly welcoming, Lucas stepped out into the night.

"See you soon, Hales," He smiled and gave her a quick hug as he passed her. They then made their way back to the car and to warmth. Once safely seated and only a few minutes into the drive Sawyer fell alseep and for the first time in what seemed like ages Peyton spoke to him.

"Why are we even doing this anymore?" She asked as she glanced out at the night behind her window. She sighed and her breath steamed up the window slightly.

Even though the question came out of nowhere, Lucas knew exactly what she was saying. This was the conversation which had been needed for such a long time but neither wanted to start it. This had taken a long time to come but it had been undoubtable, "For Sawyer, I guess," That's what he'd always told himself, but he knew that it was hurting Sawyer more for them to be together. That the reason they were together was probably more the fact that he was scared of what life after Peyton would be like. He was scared of what many other people in the past were, too. He was afraid of the unknown.

"We both know that's a lie... I think we're just kind of unsure.. We know that nothing will be different if we break it off... We still won't be happy. We can't have Jake or Brooke. So we kind of think, what's the point? We're unsure of whether it even matters. But I think that we at least need to try. Maybe we can be happy... I'm not saying we can be, but maybe. We'll never know if we're together. So why not have a break to search for happiness. We both deserve it. Lets just... This sounds so cliche but, find ourselves," She whispered after a long pause.

"I think we've both lost ourselves on the way to here... I have no idea who I am anymore," Lucas answered quietly as he stopped at the lights.

"So you agree?" She turned to look at him and saw him nod. Peyton smiled and looked back out of the window. She knew they'd have more to discuss when they got home and had put Sawyer safely to bed but for the moment that was what she needed.

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><p><strong>Sorry, I know that was boring but before I get into the actual story I think I need to give background information. The next couple of chapters will hopefully be more interesting. After chapter 34 they'll be more Brucas. I'm afraid I'll have to make the next chapter more Peyton and Lucas centered as they talk things out. Then it'll get into Brucas. Yay! Anyways... I'm not happy about the last part where Lucas and Peyton talk so I might edit it. If I do I'll tell you in the next chapter so you can read through it. So, yeah. I'm not really into this chapter and I could very well scratch it but maybe not. I don't know. Tell me if you want.**


	3. Chapter 2: Looking skinny like a model

**If I owned OTH I wouldn't be writing stories on here, I'd be making Lucas come back to woo Brooke. So do I own OTH? No. End. Of. Story.**

**The song lyrics are Lua by Bright Eyes. **

**Oh and also, sorry for the extra long author's note at the end. You don't have to read it but you can. I just wanted to give you a heads up that I got carried away.  
><strong>

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><p><em>And I'm not sure what the trouble was <em>  
><em> That started all of this<em>  
><em> The reasons all have run away <em>  
><em> But the feeling never did<em>  
><em><br>_

Brooke Davis _was _happy with her life. Well, except for the minor detail that she often cried in the bathroom when Julian was at work and she didn't even know why. She didn't really understand much about her life anymore. She tended not to think about it because it hurt and she couldn't really deal with it right now. She thought it was just the stress or the lack of sleep, that it was getting to her head and making everything seem worse than it was. It was certainly possible. So she'd just live day to day, not thinking about what was going on in the back of her mind in a drawer she'd locked tight. She wouldn't think about the future and whether she'd ever feel better. So she just kept telling herself that everything was alright. That it'd all end up alright in the end. And with that she'd managed to make herself think she was happy.

She blamed the stress on the lack of eating, as well. That maybe if she didn't eat as much then the minutes spent eating each day could be used to do things that were more needed. Like drawing out new designs or something equally important. Eating wasn't important as getting things done. Then there was also the fact that if she focused on getting through the day with only a slice of cheese then she wouldn't have to think about everything else. About the fact her wedding was coming closer and she was seriously regretting having it so soon. To start with, she knew it was a way to deal with everything around her. Then it started to take over and she couldn't quite think clearly. She didn't even know why she wasn't eating anymore, she just knew she wasn't and that's the way it should stay.

She was guilty when she ate now because her brain had told her to feel guilty. It wasn't because she wanted to be skinnier and she thought that the calories would turn her into an elephant, like everyone believed. It was because her brain had told her to. Everyone thought it was because she was constantly meeting with models, skinnier than her, and she felt jealous of them. Or that she looked in the mirror and felt fat. She'd heard Haley, Peyton and Lucas discussing it in the kitchen and they didn't know she'd overheard. They thought they understood. They didn't. By the sound of the conversation, they'd had it a lot. They needn't worry. She was okay. At least that's what she told herself. Because she didn't know she was that skinny, sure she'd started to understand she'd lost weight from the clothes that now were too big when before they'd fit perfectly. But when she looked in the mirror she didn't seem any skinnier.

Julian told her about five times a week to eat and she was starting to get annoyed. She was a grown woman. She could look after herself. She knew it was only because he cared but she could deal with things by herself. She was fine. She told him this each time he asked. She wasn't fine. She just thought she was. It'd gotten to the point when the lack of eating had gotten to her brain, she thought that it was perfectly fine not to eat and that she actually was okay like she'd told everyone. She wasn't. None of her thoughts were her own anymore. They were just what her lack of eating state of mind had told her. Her friends had told her, too. Most times they saw her they'd at least make a 'Brooke you're too skinny' comment. But she'd ignore them and they didn't really know what else to say because none of them could get her to see clearly.

She didn't think it was that serious. Until she fainted.

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><p>She couldn't see anything at first. For a few moments it was only darkness but she could still make out the sound of beeping. She didn't really know what it was at first. She thought maybe it was her alarm to wake her up for work and she was only half conscious. She didn't really feel ready to wake up so she tried to roll over to press the snooze button. She couldn't. Then some other noises started to fade in. Voices. Far off voices and she thought that Julian might be outside the room talking on the phone. She thought that he might have closed the door and that's why the voices were so muffled. It all sounds so farawary and distance that she can't really understand the situation.<p>

Then she managed to gently lift her eye lids apart but found herself immedately closing them against the bright, unexpected light. She felt something gripping her hand at the movement of her eyelids and she turned her head slightly at the feeling. As she slowly half opened her eyes again, this time more prepared for the brightness, she saw a blurry figure. Her eye sight was fairly distorted so she couldn't really see who it was. Just that they were male.

"Beautiful, I'm here. You're going to be alright," The voice was familiar but she couldn't quite put a finger on it. She fully opened her eyes now and after a moment the fuzzyness decreased and she was looking at Julian.

"Wh... What..." Her voice was croaky and gravelly. It caused her throat to feel like it'd been lit on fire and she started to cough which sent her throat into a wave of flames. She gulped. Her voice sounded so unfamiliar. Julian took the glass of water from the table and placed it near Brooke's lips so she could drink. She smiled in thanks and took a sip.

"What happened?"

He sat back in his chair, placing the glass back down, "You fainted, you didn't have enough sugar in your blood and you were just too exhausted to stay conscious. They did tests on you and they've found out that your heart and kidney started to fail. They said that I managed to find you just in time because otherwise... Otherwise you could of died. You were also starting to suffer from osteoporosis. Brooke... You nearly died," He told her as he sat back in his chair, head lolling back against the back as he closed his eyes tightly.

Her breath caught and she took a few moments before she said anything, "So what happens now?"

"Now... You're going to be kept in for a week so that they can monitor how much you're eating. You'll have regular visits from a therapist and even when you leave you'll carry on going to him for 6 months, maybe longer depending on what happens. You'll have to come here weekly for check ups. And they're giving me a diet plan which I need to watch to make sure you stick to. After that we'll see what happens," He opened his eyes and looked at her, swallowing hard. He hated to see her like this and just wanted to get her better.

"How long have I been in here?" She raises an eyebrow and shifts in the bed so she can see him more clearly.

"A couple of days. They needed to do a lot of tests and things..." Julian nods his head and sighs heavily. He hadn't slept since she'd come in, bar a few hours, and it was starting to get to him. He knew he could of slept. All her friends had visited and he knew that if she woke then they'd wake him but he just couldn't.

"You should get some sleep, you look awful," She told him as she studied his face and he nodded, closing his eyes.

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><p>Lucas and Peyton hadn't told anyone about the seperation. The situation with Brooke was more important so they just hadn't found the moment. Even between themselves they hadn't spoken about it, both too worried about Brooke. They knew she'd be alright. It was Boroke Davis, she always ended up alright. But it was just the fact they'd never seen her like that. So fragile. They were so scared that she'd disappear from them. So they pushed away the seperation and focused on Brooke, because that was what they needed to do.<p>

While Julian had spent every moment beside Brooke, they'd (Haley, Nathan, Peyton, Lucas and various other people like Mouth) sat outside in the waiting area. They occasionally went into her room to see her but they'd all been shaken up at the sight of her that they couldn't really cope. They all knew Brooke so well and the fact that she looked so... weak in there kind of scared them.

So when they found out Brooke was awake to start with they were hesitant to see her. But they did because they were her friends and they needed to. It was what they were supposed to do. It was their job to support her and help her. They hadn't exactly helped her so far, they could of stopped it from getting this far. But they didn't. They could of talked to her about it more. But they didn't. It was their fault she was in such a state.

They took it in turns to speak to her. Naley went first and they'd come out of the room all blank faced and they didn't know how it'd gone. When asked they just told them that Brooke said she was fine but she wasn't. Julian had apparently filled them in on what would happen next and Brooke had apparently just lay there; all still and quiet. It was like she was so weak that she couldn't even speak much. So when it was Lucas' turn to visit her he had to take several deep breathes before opening the door.

"Brooke..." He whispered so quietly that if the room wasn't so silent she wouldn't of heard. He closed the door gently behind him before going and taking a seat in the chair Julian had previously occupied.

"Luke?" She turned her head to face him and he had to resist the urge to gasp at her the look of her papery, worn out skin which had taken on a greyish tint. His stomach swoops at the sight of her and he feels his heart break at how weak she looks. He hated that she was like this, he loved her and he wanted nothing more than to get her back to how she was before. When she was happy with who she was.

"How are you feeling?" Stupid question really seeing as she looked so terrible.

"Fine," Brooke answered with a tiny nod of her head. He knew she wasn't.

"Tell me the truth," He replied and she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"I'm okay, Luke. Honest. I mean I feel exhausted all the time and I feel a little queasy, but other than that I'm fine. Everyone should stop worrying, the doctor said that I can make a full recovery," She told him with a slight shrug of her shoulder. He noted that she said 'can' and not 'would'.

"Do you want to make a full recovery, though? Because I don't doubt that you can if you try... But will you?" He asked after a moment of silence as he thought of what to say.

"It'll be hard... But I'll try. Promise. I mean I don't think you all could cope without me," She sends him a smile and he knows she's trying to lighten the situation. But he can't find it in himself to smile back.

"We couldn't. We can't lose you. You mean everything to all of us," He swallows hard and bows his head, looking at his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry," She says after a few minutes. It's in a quiet, sad, little voice that doesn't sound like it should belong to Brooke Davis.

"For what?" His head snapped up to look at her, his brow furrowed.

"For this. All of this," She gestures a tiny hand around the room, the sleeve of her gown flapping up so he can see her tiny little arm and he has to close his eyes.

"It's my fault. I could have stopped it. I could have helped. But I didn't. I let you just slip away from us," He says quietly and she shakes her head sadly but he doesn't see the movement.

"No. It's not. I wouldn't have listened to any of you. I was just listening to what my food deprived body told me. I wouldn't have taken into consideration what you all told me. It's not your fault. Honestly, I mean I really wouldn't have listened. You couldn't help me. I'd have carried on not eating whatever happened. Seriously, don't blame yourself," He doesn't say anything else on the matter because he kows she'll deny it but he knows it was all his fault. He could have stopped it but he didn't.

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><p><strong>Okay, so I lied. I didn't do any Leyton but that'll happen next chapter or something, probably. I don't really plan out my stories. I just go with the flow. So I thought that I'd have a Leyton chat but I didn't cause it didn't fit. One reviewer wanted to hear more about the eating disorder so I put it in. It was important. It isn't the end of the eating disorder. She'll have a tough journey and I don't really know what'll happen in the end, but I think she'll come out the other side perfectly healthy. I'm sorry that Leyton seem like jackasses for not thinking of Sawyer in the last chapter but I just think that they're too lost to really see clearly. To sad and lonely. Y'know what I mean? Like I think they don't understand anything other than the pain their in. Any questions just ask.<strong>

**Sorry this was so terrible, I really didn't capture all the emotion and everything of an eating disorder. I really didn't do the topic justice (but I do know what I'm talking about.) I mean I wrote this really late last night (like 4:00 am cause I couldn't sleep) so I didn't really think much into it. I'll probably edit. But anyway, I hope that after chapter 4 or 5 things will start to get more interesting.**

**By the way, I used to suffer from an eating disorder. 2 years ago, actually. So I wanted to put it across that lots of the time an eating disorder isn't just about wanting to be skinny. I mean sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn't. I didn't care about being skinny. I just wanted control. I still have trouble eating now, so you have to know that Brooke won't magically get better. So yeah. You can ask question or whatever. **


End file.
